1. |
choice architecture
01:58
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When I close my eyes I can see it all clearly: A tree in front of me branching off to who knows where, who knows when. Yeah, two sides and doors behind which hide consequences. They lead where I like
in this: a deciduous moment. Choice architecture. No resets. It’s right in my face; a twisted fork, a winding maze. What life will I choose to make; win or lose?
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2. |
monolithic
02:00
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thrashing against a monolithic existence, never progressing past your first impulse to yell at the air that newly afforded
to see that you’re always screaming at nothing. crying because you’re wet and not drying. feet in the air, s-s-s-somebody’s got me. roiling against a greedy, persistent,
bad, inconvenient nerve stimulus. not even when I’m writing missives and rhythms,
imparting a pattern to external designs harbored within the empty held in your ears
while clenching your fists and getting ready to fight… yr solving a problem that doesn’t exist, yr crunching the dirt while you tilt at the lists, yr holding potential energy from moving plainly forward. yr forcing yr way into hits. shit.
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3. |
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yr working in a goddamn shop tryna rip the good people off. ya can’t pay penance ‘less you walk like a menace and sniff the weak ones out. mummy says try to be kind. how can i be kind when the value mined off of those less fortunate is what i’ll eventually be calling mine?
mummy says get yours…. well i’ll take whatever i think i deserve, because i’ve been raised by wolves. they’ve made me insatiable.
inherited biology the same but ideology changed. this ontology through which i see: it makes me ashamed.
walking in a rodent race, feels more like being chased, stomping on yr kindred souls is not a heuristic wielded by benevolent people, so please don’t do it.
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4. |
attachment
01:46
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if you like the attachment, but hate my grip, I'd say please be transparent, this unappreciation is getting consistent. if you like the affection, but cha don't like me, c'mon now, take that trite shit anywhere but here; I'm tryna b sincere. if I turn the lights out
will you take me?
my heart is glued to the bottom of your boot, your takin careless steps down the stairs in time to a campesino tune. if you like the attention, but don't like my eyes, I'll stop my staring if you promise, that as i look away ill die
. hell, if you like company, but cha don’t like friends
, sacrifice some autonomy...
yr gonna break if you don’t bend.
if I turn the lights out
will you take me down?
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5. |
choice architecture II
02:09
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I made a choice
, and then another and then suddenly I was not myself. I made a bad choice
, and then another and then I wept for there was no one left
. Branching off in all directions
, a time line like a tangled tree
fighting itself quietly
in self-immolating supremacy
. I'm taking the steps to a new door
, grabbing the handle and twisting like mad
. I’m falling through the floor.
I gotta push the reset. I gotta push it
. I made a choice
, and then another and suddenly I was in a very different place.
I made a good choice, and then another
and when I was done I felt the love of the other.
Now all the tangles & surreptitious angles are
folding into unmagnificent design... un
til I zoom out
and I see that didn’t really waste my time... be
cause all of my choices, all of my follies, all of my worries
, & all of my actions
have led me to seeing
, have sent me careening
into becoming an actual being
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